Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting is already part of common discourse, but what does it truly mean, and how does it relate to children? Psychologist Dr Nicola Davies discusses
Simply, narcissism is excessive self-love, self-admiration, selfishness, and arrogance. Everything is about ‘me’ and my desires and requirements; the universe revolves around me.
This sounds like most youngsters, doesn’t it? After all, it isn’t until approximately the age of four that youngsters start to properly appreciate the needs of others. So, narcissism is really part of kid growth and not anything to worry about. At the same time, it is crucial not to dismiss the features of self-entitlement, a lack of empathy, or an inflated feeling of being exceptional and unique. These qualities, although typical in children, may grow into adult narcissism if left to their own ways.
Narcissistic Traits
The narcissistic period of juvenile development commences from the age of two and continues until age three or four. It is at this time when the infant develops an ego and a feeling of ‘I’. This is when the youngster begins saying ‘mine’ or ‘me’ with authority. Indeed, children must establish this feeling of self before they reach the stage of ‘we’ and comprehend that other people also need to be regarded. It is the job of parents and practitioners to encourage children to shift from ‘I’ to ‘we.’
Some common behavioral indicators noticed in children with narcissistic features are: They feel themselves superior than others.
They are self-centred and attention-seeking.
They are easily injured.
They want people to regard them as unique.
They are haughty.
They cannot sympathize with the sentiments of others.
Underlying Causes
If youngsters aren’t nurtured through this normal developing period, their narcissistic features might develop into a personality disorder and create challenges in later life. These issues may involve any of the following:
Inability to maintain connections.
Inability to trust people.
Excessive rage.
Treating others as things and not persons.
Indulging in drug addiction.
Irresponsibility about money.
Several factors may be ascribed to the development of narcissistic personality disorder, including those connected to a child’s upbringing include:
Raising a kid in a highly pampered setting or over-valuing them and entitling them to special attention.
Expecting high expectations from youngsters regardless of their real abilities.
Neglecting children by not providing them constant love or attention.
Exposure to mental or physical harm.
Children’s early interactions with their parents and caregivers have a critical influence on the growing personality of the kid, including whether they navigate through the narcissistic period successfully.
How Can A Psychologist Help?
Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting may recognize narcissistic features from approximately age four or five, when youngsters start to grasp the needs of others around them. However, to diagnose with confidence, it is best to wait until the kid reaches seven years of age, or older, by which time these characteristics should no longer be obvious in the ordinary youngster. A psychologist may work with parents, caregivers and children to help promote and cultivate the following key non-narcissistic features.
Working with parents and caregivers
Empathy Caregivers, particularly early years practitioners, may model actions that indicate the value of thinking about others’ emotions.
Responsibility Children with narcissistic features do not accept responsibility for their acts, hence need to be educated that they are responsible for their conduct.
Moral values When youngsters misbehave, their faults should promptly be clarified to them. Equally, kids ought to be awarded recognition for participating in beneficial conduct.
Realistic expectations It is crucial not to overwhelm youngsters with unreasonable expectations; embrace them for who they are.
Minimise entitlement Minimise gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.
Self-efficiency Pay particular attention to the demands that children cannot meet themselves, but that are vital for their mental and physical well-being. However, being at their beck and call might produce a false feeling of entitlement, inhibiting the development of self-sufficiency.
Consistency There has to be uniformity in what is considered as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, to prevent misunderstanding.
Love Avoid performance-based love since it encourages narcissistic qualities by teaching youngsters that they must accomplish a goal before they can get praise and affection. Show youngsters they are loved for who they are.
Discipline Discipline properly and swiftly so children know precisely what they are being chastised for.
Be specific When praising youngsters, spell out precisely what you are thanking them for. For example, instead of saying ‘Well done’, say, ‘You are very good; you shared with your brother.’
Don’t over-generalise Avoid using phrases like ‘always’ or ‘never.’ Instead of stating, ‘You always do a terrific job’, say, ‘You did well by finishing off your veggies today.’ This helps to anchor the praise in the present and complements the child’s current efforts.
Praise sparingly but meaningfully Directed praise is beneficial for strengthening a child’s self-esteem. However, excessive praise might build the expectation of accolades for every endeavor. Also, the more you use praise, the less effective it will be.
Contribution Expect your kid to make a significant contribution to the family by taking up a regular task, such as setting the table.
The Difference Between Narcissistic Traits and NPD
"We all have narcissistic aspects to our personality that help build self-esteem and self-worth," argues Jeanette Raymond, PhD, a certified clinical psychologist and relationship specialist in Los Angeles. "The difference with NPD is that the person has a persistent way of constantly feeling wounded, wronged, and victimized and can't tolerate your success when set alongside theirs."
"They do this to such a degree that they are continually angry and can't maintain relationships that need them to give and receive. They are entitled and feel no guilt in it," she continues.
How to Tell If a Child's Behaviors Are Signs of True Narcissism?
Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting is a typical part of a child's development, it's conceivable that your child's activities are aberrant or worrying. Michele Nealon, PsyD, head of The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, notes that although all children crave attention from people around them—and in varied ways depending on their stage of development—those demonstrating narcissistic behavior seem to ratchet that up several notches.
According to Dr. Nealon, a youngster demonstrating narcissistic traits may also:
Monopolize discussions
Belittle others Exaggerate their triumphs and achievements and belittle the worth of the achievements of people around them
Have a more difficult time empathizing with people
Be prone to temper tantrums and quick to upset when they do not get their way
Push against authoritative people, particularly when things are not going their way
Paula Parente
Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting is already part of common discourse, but what does it truly mean, and how does it relate to children? Psychologist Dr Nicola Davies discusses
Simply, narcissism is excessive self-love, self-admiration, selfishness, and arrogance. Everything is about ‘me’ and my desires and requirements; the universe revolves around me.
This sounds like most youngsters, doesn’t it? After all, it isn’t until approximately the age of four that youngsters start to properly appreciate the needs of others. So, narcissism is really part of kid growth and not anything to worry about. At the same time, it is crucial not to dismiss the features of self-entitlement, a lack of empathy, or an inflated feeling of being exceptional and unique. These qualities, although typical in children, may grow into adult narcissism if left to their own ways.
Narcissistic Traits
The narcissistic period of juvenile development commences from the age of two and continues until age three or four. It is at this time when the infant develops an ego and a feeling of ‘I’. This is when the youngster begins saying ‘mine’ or ‘me’ with authority. Indeed, children must establish this feeling of self before they reach the stage of ‘we’ and comprehend that other people also need to be regarded. It is the job of parents and practitioners to encourage children to shift from ‘I’ to ‘we.’
Some common behavioral indicators noticed in children with narcissistic features are: They feel themselves superior than others.
They are self-centred and attention-seeking.
They are easily injured.
They want people to regard them as unique.
They are haughty.
They cannot sympathize with the sentiments of others.
Underlying Causes
If youngsters aren’t nurtured through this normal developing period, their narcissistic features might develop into a personality disorder and create challenges in later life. These issues may involve any of the following:
Inability to maintain connections.
Inability to trust people.
Excessive rage.
Treating others as things and not persons.
Indulging in drug addiction.
Irresponsibility about money.
Several factors may be ascribed to the development of narcissistic personality disorder, including those connected to a child’s upbringing include:
Raising a kid in a highly pampered setting or over-valuing them and entitling them to special attention.
Expecting high expectations from youngsters regardless of their real abilities.
Neglecting children by not providing them constant love or attention.
Exposure to mental or physical harm.
Children’s early interactions with their parents and caregivers have a critical influence on the growing personality of the kid, including whether they navigate through the narcissistic period successfully.
How Can A Psychologist Help?
Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting may recognize narcissistic features from approximately age four or five, when youngsters start to grasp the needs of others around them. However, to diagnose with confidence, it is best to wait until the kid reaches seven years of age, or older, by which time these characteristics should no longer be obvious in the ordinary youngster. A psychologist may work with parents, caregivers and children to help promote and cultivate the following key non-narcissistic features.
Working with parents and caregivers
Empathy Caregivers, particularly early years practitioners, may model actions that indicate the value of thinking about others’ emotions.
Responsibility Children with narcissistic features do not accept responsibility for their acts, hence need to be educated that they are responsible for their conduct.
Moral values When youngsters misbehave, their faults should promptly be clarified to them. Equally, kids ought to be awarded recognition for participating in beneficial conduct.
Realistic expectations It is crucial not to overwhelm youngsters with unreasonable expectations; embrace them for who they are.
Minimise entitlement Minimise gift-giving for the sake of gift-giving.
Self-efficiency Pay particular attention to the demands that children cannot meet themselves, but that are vital for their mental and physical well-being. However, being at their beck and call might produce a false feeling of entitlement, inhibiting the development of self-sufficiency.
Consistency There has to be uniformity in what is considered as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, to prevent misunderstanding.
Love Avoid performance-based love since it encourages narcissistic qualities by teaching youngsters that they must accomplish a goal before they can get praise and affection. Show youngsters they are loved for who they are.
Discipline Discipline properly and swiftly so children know precisely what they are being chastised for.
Be specific When praising youngsters, spell out precisely what you are thanking them for. For example, instead of saying ‘Well done’, say, ‘You are very good; you shared with your brother.’
Don’t over-generalise Avoid using phrases like ‘always’ or ‘never.’ Instead of stating, ‘You always do a terrific job’, say, ‘You did well by finishing off your veggies today.’ This helps to anchor the praise in the present and complements the child’s current efforts.
Praise sparingly but meaningfully Directed praise is beneficial for strengthening a child’s self-esteem. However, excessive praise might build the expectation of accolades for every endeavor. Also, the more you use praise, the less effective it will be.
Contribution Expect your kid to make a significant contribution to the family by taking up a regular task, such as setting the table.
The Difference Between Narcissistic Traits and NPD
"We all have narcissistic aspects to our personality that help build self-esteem and self-worth," argues Jeanette Raymond, PhD, a certified clinical psychologist and relationship specialist in Los Angeles. "The difference with NPD is that the person has a persistent way of constantly feeling wounded, wronged, and victimized and can't tolerate your success when set alongside theirs."
"They do this to such a degree that they are continually angry and can't maintain relationships that need them to give and receive. They are entitled and feel no guilt in it," she continues.
How to Tell If a Child's Behaviors Are Signs of True Narcissism?
Child Development Stages Psychology Narcissistic Parenting is a typical part of a child's development, it's conceivable that your child's activities are aberrant or worrying. Michele Nealon, PsyD, head of The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, notes that although all children crave attention from people around them—and in varied ways depending on their stage of development—those demonstrating narcissistic behavior seem to ratchet that up several notches.
According to Dr. Nealon, a youngster demonstrating narcissistic traits may also:
Monopolize discussions
Belittle others Exaggerate their triumphs and achievements and belittle the worth of the achievements of people around them
Have a more difficult time empathizing with people
Be prone to temper tantrums and quick to upset when they do not get their way
Push against authoritative people, particularly when things are not going their way