My partner broke up with me a few years ago over my mental condition. More precisely, the actions my mental illness was creating drove me to be dumped and strained our relationship. To be "too much to handle" in a relationship was one of my worst worries realized.
Years before the relationship, I had been battling depression; but, while we were together, I was experiencing one of my worst and lowest times ever—mood swings and crying at the touch of a finger. He had to cope with my sobbing bouts, avoidance of social events with his friends, and late-night anxiety episodes. Over my emotions, I had no control.
My boyfriend then sat me down and informed me that he couldn't handle it anymore since my melancholy was dragging him down. He also suffered from depression, hence his own mental state was suffering from my actions. Though upsetting, I knew why he did it. Dealing with a depressed individual can be challenging when you yourself are depressed.
I wonder myself sometimes if, in his place, I would behave the same way. Simply said, I most likely would. Ending a relationship because of my mental health was one of the hardest and most eye-opening experiences I've faced.
How Mental Illness Might Complicate Breakups?
Making the difficult choice of whether or not to call off a relationship Indeed, it is terrible to be dumped, but it equally terrible to be the one doing it. Considerations of ending a relationship with someone with a mental illness can make things much more difficult. Breaking up with a partner because of anything out of their control and causes them suffering could make you feel terrible or like a nasty person. You might also worry that, should you depart, their condition will get worse.
Mental illness by itself does not justify ending a relationship. Many persons with mental health issues can lead long-lasting, contented, joyful relationships. You should not write someone off just because they are unhappy, anxious, or [enter mental disease here]. In and of itself, a condition does not justify ending a relationship.
When should you break off relations with someone having a mental illness?
When mental illness symptoms interfere with your daily life or your safety is being endangered, it could be time to start worrying about your relationship. Although you can certainly be in a healthy relationship with someone who has a mental illness, be alert for when things start to sour. Ending a relationship because of my mental health may become a necessary step to protect both your well-being and that of your partner.
"Some of the tell-tale signs we see in an unhealthy relationship where mental health issues are present are: violence (verbal, physical, or sexual), inability to control emotions, hallucinations, disrespect, lack of remorse or empathy for people or animals, and narcissistic behaviors," Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S says.
Red flags
Should any of these red flags surface, do not discount them. Whatever mental disorder status, violence or abuse of any kind should not be accepted. Priority one should be your safety.
Generally speaking, as Catchings pointed out, having a mental illness does not absolve one from treating someone disrespectfully, with contempt, or without empathy. While those without mental disease may treat you badly, those with mental problems are undoubtedly able to treat others with respect and affection. If you're not happy, you'll ultimately think about calling it quits whether or not your partner has a mental illness.
The Impact Regarding Your Own Mental Health
Apart from these warning signs, another reason you could decide to call off the relationship is if it is compromising your own mental health, particularly if you already have a mental illness.
Dealing with someone else who is likewise unstable can be harmful for both of you if your condition is not stable, as I experienced with my partner who also suffered with depression. Ultimately, as a partner—and not a mental health professional—there is only so much you can do to assist someone; if trying to alleviate someone else's sadness or anxiety or diagnosis is aggravating your own illness, you have to prioritize yourself. If you have not been diagnosed, completing an online mental health screening test will enable you to find out whether your symptoms could be related to an underlying problem, so guiding your search for the particular treatment required.
Keep in mind that your safety comes first, says Catchings. Although you could love this person, you could benefit them more by letting a mental health expert work with them rather than keeping in the relationship and attempting to be their own private counselor without the necessary background.
Advice To Help You Break Up
A breakup is a breakup; you will probably manage it in many of the same ways you would manage breaking up with someone without a mental condition. Catchings advises being "kind, sympathetic, and strong." You want to follow the broad guidelines of breaking up without being a jerk: be totally honest and open, do it in person (don't you even think about doing it over text message), listen to what they have to say, and don't give them mixed signals after the split.
Emotional Afterbreak
Though remorse is natural following a breakup, you should reassure yourself that you are doing morally for your safety, mental health, and self. Whether it's therapy, drugs, or both, you might wish to get in touch with a close friend of your ex and advise them to keep a careful check on them and assist them while they work through the split.
Take care of yourself too. It doesn't mean you won't be in emotional suffering just because you weren't the one broken off from. Getting past a break-through is not simple. Give yourself time; open to your close friends; let yourself cry; kindly stop tracking your ex on social media!
Nora Hazel
My partner broke up with me a few years ago over my mental condition. More precisely, the actions my mental illness was creating drove me to be dumped and strained our relationship. To be "too much to handle" in a relationship was one of my worst worries realized.
Years before the relationship, I had been battling depression; but, while we were together, I was experiencing one of my worst and lowest times ever—mood swings and crying at the touch of a finger. He had to cope with my sobbing bouts, avoidance of social events with his friends, and late-night anxiety episodes. Over my emotions, I had no control.
My boyfriend then sat me down and informed me that he couldn't handle it anymore since my melancholy was dragging him down. He also suffered from depression, hence his own mental state was suffering from my actions. Though upsetting, I knew why he did it. Dealing with a depressed individual can be challenging when you yourself are depressed.
I wonder myself sometimes if, in his place, I would behave the same way. Simply said, I most likely would. Ending a relationship because of my mental health was one of the hardest and most eye-opening experiences I've faced.
How Mental Illness Might Complicate Breakups?
Making the difficult choice of whether or not to call off a relationship Indeed, it is terrible to be dumped, but it equally terrible to be the one doing it. Considerations of ending a relationship with someone with a mental illness can make things much more difficult. Breaking up with a partner because of anything out of their control and causes them suffering could make you feel terrible or like a nasty person. You might also worry that, should you depart, their condition will get worse.
Mental illness by itself does not justify ending a relationship. Many persons with mental health issues can lead long-lasting, contented, joyful relationships. You should not write someone off just because they are unhappy, anxious, or [enter mental disease here]. In and of itself, a condition does not justify ending a relationship.
When should you break off relations with someone having a mental illness?
When mental illness symptoms interfere with your daily life or your safety is being endangered, it could be time to start worrying about your relationship. Although you can certainly be in a healthy relationship with someone who has a mental illness, be alert for when things start to sour. Ending a relationship because of my mental health may become a necessary step to protect both your well-being and that of your partner.
"Some of the tell-tale signs we see in an unhealthy relationship where mental health issues are present are: violence (verbal, physical, or sexual), inability to control emotions, hallucinations, disrespect, lack of remorse or empathy for people or animals, and narcissistic behaviors," Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S says.
Red flags
Should any of these red flags surface, do not discount them. Whatever mental disorder status, violence or abuse of any kind should not be accepted. Priority one should be your safety.
Generally speaking, as Catchings pointed out, having a mental illness does not absolve one from treating someone disrespectfully, with contempt, or without empathy. While those without mental disease may treat you badly, those with mental problems are undoubtedly able to treat others with respect and affection. If you're not happy, you'll ultimately think about calling it quits whether or not your partner has a mental illness.
The Impact Regarding Your Own Mental Health
Apart from these warning signs, another reason you could decide to call off the relationship is if it is compromising your own mental health, particularly if you already have a mental illness.
Dealing with someone else who is likewise unstable can be harmful for both of you if your condition is not stable, as I experienced with my partner who also suffered with depression. Ultimately, as a partner—and not a mental health professional—there is only so much you can do to assist someone; if trying to alleviate someone else's sadness or anxiety or diagnosis is aggravating your own illness, you have to prioritize yourself. If you have not been diagnosed, completing an online mental health screening test will enable you to find out whether your symptoms could be related to an underlying problem, so guiding your search for the particular treatment required.
Keep in mind that your safety comes first, says Catchings. Although you could love this person, you could benefit them more by letting a mental health expert work with them rather than keeping in the relationship and attempting to be their own private counselor without the necessary background.
Advice To Help You Break Up
A breakup is a breakup; you will probably manage it in many of the same ways you would manage breaking up with someone without a mental condition. Catchings advises being "kind, sympathetic, and strong." You want to follow the broad guidelines of breaking up without being a jerk: be totally honest and open, do it in person (don't you even think about doing it over text message), listen to what they have to say, and don't give them mixed signals after the split.
Emotional Afterbreak
Though remorse is natural following a breakup, you should reassure yourself that you are doing morally for your safety, mental health, and self. Whether it's therapy, drugs, or both, you might wish to get in touch with a close friend of your ex and advise them to keep a careful check on them and assist them while they work through the split.
Take care of yourself too. It doesn't mean you won't be in emotional suffering just because you weren't the one broken off from. Getting past a break-through is not simple. Give yourself time; open to your close friends; let yourself cry; kindly stop tracking your ex on social media!